recalling the nightmare

at the time

it seemed like a good idea…

reconnect with relations long abandoned

try finding forgiveness for the shattering of my life

and find the energy to let go

of the toxins that bleed memories in and out to this day…

a twenty-plus year journey of sickness and panic

needs to come to an end before death’s hand reaches…

putting it out into the universe is just as effective and

less painful,  i’ve been told…an easier road than the fork i thought

i needed to take and travel ….

my blood and theirs will always flow though veins

co-mingling whatever brand of crazy that

we have been damned to endure…

but, sadly, i’ve realized that

i cannot place myself into their lives

without the shadows of evil lurking around every word..

the spoken and the unspoken of the past is too complicated…

so to the universe

i beg

let me forgive to

release the darkness from my soul

as i walk away

with my life and the love

of the remaining family i have created and

chosen

 

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About lindalou5150

as exercise or exorcism, i write...for the eyes of others, for my eyes and heart only, for the love and the rage, i write...to release the gamut of emotion...to tell the truth and say what's often thought but not written...
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