unstuck

this became a  place to fear

a place avoided late in  night’s shadow

where the necromancers danced

burying the memory of words,

words that once came easily reeling toward me

through me

begging for a mercifully joyous release…

this was what i feared

word-bile that choked and

gagged me    leaving me unable to swallow

while trapped in my throat..

like a dark leaden strait jacket

it sat on my chest  rendering me, immobilized

while  the reeking scent of doubt and

the paralyzing fear of judgment

bound my hands tightly,

holding  me down…

when fists clenched to unclenched

to avoid reaching for pen

paper

notebook

or an envelope’s printed back

i tucked them down, safely hidden from here

almost hopeful  they would burrow down

back into their benthic depths

staying, ever shrouded in that comfort and

in that safe place, where

elusive wordings often hide..

now change and light

is streaming again through this window

propped up against garcia’s art

and should bring safe passage

and should bring exhilaration

and should have these fingers

itching to create..

no more entering through

heavy, wooden doors that once abbreviated me

during rabbit-hole days

no more separating all “shoulds” into small parcels of spilled red blood

that once stained these hands entrenched in

melancholy and uncertainty…

for what has passed through here

piercing through gut and bone

too had its rhyme and its purpose….

but today, as the fall light breaks through crimson leaves

the words that have passed

knows of the exposing

remembers  the shattering of spirit

and has welcomed  the purging of such pain

such bile and such misery…

the seasons of fear and doubt have passed        for now

the demons have crawled back into their caves      for now

and today

life again is alive

with new possibilities

and a language that is craving breath

life

Advertisements

About lindalou5150

as exercise or exorcism, i write...for the eyes of others, for my eyes and heart only, for the love and the rage, i write...to release the gamut of emotion...to tell the truth and say what's often thought but not written...
This entry was posted in poetry/poesy. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to unstuck

  1. David Garcia says:

    ok what I got here was ‘trapped and released’…the bird flies again….good…xd

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s