i’m only chipping, he said
never thinkin’ that i’d get strung out or sick
a little nibble here and there
just to get by and keep the knees from aching
to keep the legs
from feelin’ heavy like redwood trunks sometimes
just to pick up my spirit a bit
just to keep me out of the
unbearable darkness that sneaks in
snarling
that always surprises..
but oh, the sick
the sick came down on him from the
chipping, and when the little blue pills ran out
the room spun, the belly cramped like
tangled cables on the floor behind his
old-school low- definition apartment television
then the ants came oh the devil ants
showing up in formation to march up his spine, crawlin’ and climbin’ up
the backs of his legs, up torso through neck and shoulders
bells went off buzzin’ and ringin’ and tolling in his ears like sunday church mornings
sweat poured down like rain in between the untenable moments of icy-cold
hot cold hot cold like a ticking clock or time bomb
heart racing, room spinning
the unbearable heatwave of a relentless summer, 24/7
and suddenly he thought
ah, this is what the junkies fear
this is what keeps them downtown
siphoning off the bank account, or on
the boardwalk scraping off the rent money
meeting up between old, abandoned buildings off speedway
to score away the bill money
or on bruised knees in back alleyways
losing the cash needed for baby’s formula …
this is what it means when nothing
else matters except keeping this
sick from happening…
chipping …
no needles pricked into arms in darkened doorways
no filthy sheets and dark smoky caves to nod in, beachside
just you, dancing and do-see-doe-ing with the devil,
tempting fate and the gods each day by just a little here and there nibbling
thinkin’ you’re too smart to get strung out
like some common addict abuser…
chipping, he said…i was just chipping then
i woke up sick and realized that
its another day in paradise, in the life
and nothing else has really changed
what brought this on???? where did this come from???? a past memory? ? ? sure is good! strong, vivid, moving…second reading even better…it has a timeless quality…a rootless quality…’chipping’ a wonderful metaphor…all kinds of chipping going on to ‘kept on keeping on’….seems like you’re in a good place right now….xd