what slips out

what slips out
 
words that poured out
in the course of a simple conversation
that was filled with light and laughter
have sat heavy ever since
like the weight of an anvil
perched dead-center
on a most fragile heart
 
words that slipped out
were not used as
sharp weaponry meant to attack
were not aimed with precision
were not filled with intent
or rage
were not meant to cause harm
or hurt
to one who honors and respects
the dearness of such a bond
(of this, i am absolutely certain)
 
words that sneak out
of a kind-hearted mouth
render the overly sensitive
at their mercy
awaken the sleeping, nodding
tasmanian-devil inner critics
with their constant humming
of this tune, similar and ever-present
the sheet music that has always
accompanied one’s unsteady life…
 
in the blink of an eye
bony fingers cranked the piercing volume
to unimaginable decibals
shattering the eardrums
of this unintentional target
plunging deep into the
heartstrings of this mark
 
‘she was overweight and
not very attractive’ was the
descriptive phrase that
sailed mindlessly off your
gentle lips
as you completed your story
to your old friend..
bile came to surface
was swallowed down
face, flushed to blotchy red
heated to sweat
as the reels of an insecure
familiar life
flashed non-stop
and the background music
of old hurt
old pain
repeated as it has
relentlessly
for the last half century
 
oh how fragile we can be
as words rolling unknowingly
unjudgingly
off the tongues of others
awakening and exploding
shattering and decimating
the shards of an ego’s
long-broken glass
 
how ever were you to know
that you
were describing
me
 
how ever were you
to know
that seven words
innocently spoken
would tangle a net cast wide
over the years
would darken my seas
catching me underwater
in a violent riptide
of sentient old pain
 
we slip with our words
sometimes
in our communicating and storytelling..
and for some
the ‘demons’ get to win
another round
again
 
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About lindalou5150

as exercise or exorcism, i write...for the eyes of others, for my eyes and heart only, for the love and the rage, i write...to release the gamut of emotion...to tell the truth and say what's often thought but not written...
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