when i first got turned onto creating

this wordpress site

i was afraid             naked          too exposed

everything i had previously written

in this lifetime had been hidden away

secreted into books, notebooks and journals …

they were safe   out of a world’s  sight

leaving me out of the possibility

of the critics’ harsh scrawl..

yet, the joke remains that no one could be a greater critic

of my work  than me…

so, when i began this, i tried to write everyday

as both exercise and exorcism…

 every day i came here and let the words flow

but i did write

whether i had anything to say or not

the words flowed and often what came out

shocked even me

both the good and the not so great..

at least it was there

words on the page..

then, after europe, my words took

leave

took their own vacation

all of the art entwined and morphed

into daily letters  to an artist friend

yet in spite of that, i still felt that i was leaving

the art       and my self            behind…

and in that         shadowdance became intimidating

a place to fear

a place that demanded something of me

 when there was nothing to produce

except a false forced language

it became a place easier to stay away from..

and so i did….for months and months

its always interesting to face your fears

of failure  of loss   of art

so with tentative and wary steps

i stand again at the threshold

wondering what might be

left to say…