puer aeternus

i recognize this
a handful of you
managed to creep
into my early life..
and i remember

needing to be saved
you bled me out
leech-like..
you sucked
the good out
rehydrating me
with your
needy poisons..

you robbed me
at times
of breath
and security..
of kindness
and wisdom..
at times, you have
overburdened
my
shoulders
weighed me down
to the ground
i’ve stumbled
heavy
with your lackings..

repeatedly
you stole
armloads
fragments
microscopic elements
of what
i had to give..
drained, i barely
got away
with
my life…

i’ve lived with you
even married one
of you once
had two children
with you
and then there
were three,
with you being the
eldest
the toughest
the glaring
impossibility
to raise..

i recognize them
easily now
these men-children..
they are achingly
the saddest
to behold..
we cringe for them,
these pretenders…
stuck in time
clinging to
unfulfilled dreams,
they squeeze their
aged bones
into the drag
of their twenties..
wearing “cool” backwards
parading their
delusions of hip
like a shroud..
their deteriorating grandeur
spins them deeper
into tragic
inescapable holes..
i remember

they clamour
for youth, these
lost boys
beseeching it
to stay
clinging to it
with every note
bassline
and beat of
time’s drum..

i remember
how sad it is
to view
again
today..

you’ve tugged so hard
and have drawn
blood..
you’ve bypassed a
graceful
natural
transition
by squeezing
your eyes closed
stomping your
foot
and stubbornly
refusing
to give in..

you lose..
you are lost..
yes, you lose..

*thanks, philip, for the temporary ‘loan”

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About lindalou5150

as exercise or exorcism, i write...for the eyes of others, for my eyes and heart only, for the love and the rage, i write...to release the gamut of emotion...to tell the truth and say what's often thought but not written...
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One Response to puer aeternus

  1. Amazing that you can encapsulate an entire body of Jungian theory and a complex archetype in one amazing poem. As usual, I am amazed. Lest we not forget, there are also the puella aeterna! What’s good for the goose is good for the gander and I’m sure there’s many a gander that had to deal with the arrested development of a goose.

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